Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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