There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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