He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
