We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
