So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize