His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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