Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
