Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize