Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
