ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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