im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
