Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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