i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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