my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
