I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize