omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
