I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
