I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
