Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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