ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
