i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
