The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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