3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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