You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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