im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize