I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
