Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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