curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
