everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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