I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
