Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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