your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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