Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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