Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
