Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
