You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
