just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
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i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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