as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
