my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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