just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
