the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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