A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize