Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
