can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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