That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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