there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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