I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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