THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
