there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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