So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
