They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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