If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
