'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
