Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
