Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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