if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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