So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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