you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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