If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
