I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My pussy is not your playground.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
